A quote to ponder

 

I miss this so much.

The month that passed

A Dadless month. I don’t know if that is even a word.

 I don’t know whether writing this post will make me feel any better.

 But I am going to write anyway.

I have imagined my Dad’s presence many times in the month that passed but more than that I have always very acutely felt the sting of his absence. 

He was not in a very good shape for the last two years but then he was there. And the eternal hopefulness of human mind has no limits.

  The medical melodramas on the television may convince us that a loved one can be saved at the last minute by some rare miracle or dumb luck. But it seems that this is never the case.

I wish I believed in some form of afterlife, but I really don't. I sincerely crave the relief so many people get from trusting that we'll all be together again somewhere, somehow. I'm just not wired for that kind of faith.

Most of the time, my dad's absence is a painful fact I simply live with. I know he's gone, but I am trying to move through each day, living up to my responsibilities at home and the workplace. The daily routine keeps me sane, it really does.  Human brain is clever that way.

My dad is gone. He will always be gone. I will always feel the grief. But I hope I won’t lose the optimism and zest of life. Dad wouldn't want me to.

Clueless

Remembering.

Forgetting.

I am not sure which is worse.

Words that hit you

Those words are heartbreaking. 

We are sorry. Your Dad is no more. 

Those words make you numb. Their enormity is too big to swallow. They belong to some unintelligible language and keep on pounding like a hammer in your head. They hurt you worse than anything else. 

They make you throb with sobs. They alter your life forever.

It occured to me that....

 Something which you take for granted will be gone soon. Start appreciating it. Right now.
You don't have much time.

 

No kidding

It was a week of holiday and I was in my hometown last week. I noticed that almost all the swings in the gardens, where I used to play as a kid, are now broken. Sad. But nobody asks for the swings to be fixed back. Isn’t that very sad? I mean, how can children not like swings? Don’t they play in these gardens anymore? And that is when I realized that perhaps children around me do not know what magic feels like or what imagination is or what spontaneous joys are!

It has been a very long time since I saw kids float a paper boat in rainwater or play hide and seek around the houses or throw stones at the muddy ponds or chase a butterfly or enjoy the thrill of reading comic books.

The things which I can see or relate to kids today are maddening exchange of cheat codes of a computer game or chasing deadlines of hobby classes or deciding upon a burger order or throwing tantrums for a game zone card.

It is depressing to see that all the activities that these children seem to be busy with are planned to the minutest detail. No spontaneity whatsoever. I feel children from small towns and rural areas are more fortunate, for, they still have some fun activities to make their lives more spontaneous.

I wish the little ones would calm down a bit, walk through the life rather than running a rat race!

 

Simple Pleasures

 

Fresh smell of clean laundry.

Heart is where the home is.....

Home is comfort. Home is a healer.

 Home is a refuge from the big bad world. Home is cozy.

Home is a pair of shoes in a corner and pillows on the sofa. Home is clothes, books, magazines strewn around and jackets, bags, belts on the hooks. Home is tea cups left on the table and beds left unmade. Home is laundry piling up. 

And absolutely, heart is where the home is.

 

 

Balloons

I purchased a balloon the other day, Just like that. 

I felt like the balloon seller's cluster of balloons was calling out to me at the bus stop. 

Balloons are not just filled with air. They are filled with loads of joy. They help you find the child in you. One of the best games of your childhood was not letting the balloon touch the floor.

 They go high up in the sky thus signifying freedom. 

They can fly without the wings. 

"Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon" - says Winnie the Pooh!

Quote to Ponder

Being next.

The rush when you realize that you are next is one of a kind. 

This feeling is very exciting, very universal. It never gets old.

Being next in the queue to get your french fries. 

Being next in the line for the roller coaster. 

 Being next at the railway station ticket queue. 

Being next in the waiting line at the dentist. 

Being next on the day of the university viva exams. 

Being next in the hierarchy of office promotion. 

Being next when the sorting hat puts you in one of the Hogwarts Houses. 

Suddenly being next feels anxious, feels great.

 

Bookshelf watch

People who love books mostly have a fetish for bookshelves. 
Attractive bookshelves, unusual bookshelves, stylish bookshelves, quirky bookshelves and impractical bookshelves.Tastes may vary but the bookshelf culture is definitely a visual treat. In this day of e-readers and downloads, it is refreshing to celebrate books. And bookshelves do so in a very relevant way. The ‘Bookshelf Watch’ series will make an attempt to explore all these design mavericks strewn around us. 

I loved this shelf for its marvelous circular shape!  Something like a round, eternal world of books....

 This one reminds me of a thought. 

My wall should have flowers on outside and books on inside. Sweet.

Simple Pleasures

Flipping to a radio station just as a song you love is starting.

 

Quote to Ponder

It is very difficult to give up the good to go for the great. Being happy with good and having a fear of change is really dangerous. It keeps you mediocre. It limits you.

Life is unfair sometimes

It hurts if people change. But it hurts more to remember how they used to be. 

He has changed to a state which is inexplicable. But that does not stop me from thinking how he used to be. I can picture him almost anytime, anywhere. 

Driving effortlessly for all our outings; pointing out of the car-window to tell me “Look, that over there is the fort Pratapgad!”

Walking endlessly in scorching heat to find that perfect nut or bolt or screw to repair a broken switch box.

Sitting with me in a restaurant asking me if I want anything else, anything more. Nobody can do this the way he used to do it.

Finding a dress for me in a shopping mall. With interest, with vigor, with new enthusiasm every time without getting bored.

Talking over phone for hours on any topic in this world. Politics. Engineering. Places. People. Cars. History. Name it and he knew it.

The current version of my Dad is a downgraded one. Or the brain hemorrhage has stolen away the original version of my Dad. Or it has got lost in the confusion of version management. 

I hope God gives me the original Dad back oneday, someday.